FOR many, the long, slow ache of loneliness, can stretch seemingly into forever, and there is research to say that at some time in our lives we have all felt lonely.
OFTEN it is made worse with the onset of social media, especially now our technology can provide us with a unique opportunity to make so called 'friends' but these are nothing more than electronic connections. True friends are to laugh with and to cry with sometimes - and not simply a shared post or a off-the-cuff comment on a photo. But for many loneliness is too hard to admit and for many of my clients who have been through my program, is often hidden for fear of how others perceive it.
THE mindset and processes behind such feelings means that for some, it can even become evident in a room full of people - and that is often when its hardest, it is unexpected and can alter how you see many things around you.
FINDING the words to let others know that we are struggling can be hard. Sometimes, the only child leaving and gaining Independence, sometimes a break up, and for many often there is no specific triggers at all, but all offer a crippling fear of isolation.
SO, how can we navigate a way through? There is so much written about the best ways to pass through, and every well meaning soul that has input into your life will offer endless suggestions for ways to manage your feelings, but one of the first tools is to realise and admit that we are lonely. Creating space in our minds instead off locking out the feelings will bring them into a space where you can deal with them more openly.
KEEPING a journal is anther well recognised tool. For me I love the power of my journal. Not a diary, more of a planner - but it has been invaluable to track my highs (and my lows). What made this a success was the power to see things in words, and that meant my feelings exist. In turn, this enabled me to plan a strategy to make things better or to get back in control. And even now, is something I use on a daily basis. Some Coaches believe that finding words for your feelings can be helpful, but that was always a tricky concept. How do you describe a feeling?
ANOTHER proven strategy is to create mantras and thought chains, has been proven to be helpful, and taking yourself out of your comfort zone and into new environments is still the leading piece of advise - although that can be hard where social anxiety and other problems are evident.
ASKING questions of yourself such as "Why do I feel like this?" and "what is difficult about connecting with others?" and using the online world can be helpful. Joining communities and forums for us to share and provide inspiration for craft, fashion, recipes or others groups will add a sense of togetherness.
BUT for many, connecting with the open world, the natural environment can shift the negative into a positive light. Finding time to step outside and take in the air may make you feel more able to deal with your questions. Taking a friend will encourage that time to share and feel free, and there is even the chance you will enjoy it.
TRY not to be hard on yourself and find things which will stimulate you - because you have beautiful talents and when you go out into the world, amazing people will find you x