MY world, is exacty the same as everyone elses. There never seems enough time or energy (Or both actually) to fit in all the things I have got to do, which is why I have decided I am going cold turkey. I have booked some holiday from work soon and my plan - to enjoy doing nothing. But my worry, will I actually be able to manage it, or I will constantly revert back to social media and work.
IS my problem a common one? The answer to that is YES. It is seen socially as good that your diary is full and that your calender has no holes to fit in a coffee with a friend or a massage. But where is the time for you? My constant neurotic drive for perfection often leaves me realing - especailly when I have actually no control over any of it.
WHY do I feel guilty? Guilty about not being able to find time for me. For my birthday everyone wanted to see me, and for the right reasons - but I felt bad about not being able to give my time to others, and so the feeling of guilt gets constantly perpectuated.
MY plan is to learn to have more time for me. To plan my schedule so there is time for others, but also time alone with myself. I dislike the feeling that I might be missing out - but where I struggle is the need to be ok with wanting time to myself. My work, my social life and even my fitness is completely surrounded by noise and energy of various sorts and it actually feels too much. I found myself wondering whether I was no longer able to deal with the constant noise of others.
LIVING in the world of social media can be tricky to navigate and the constant 'on' which is required can be exhausting. And so I made a decision. On holiday there will be no plan. No schedule. Not even a to-do list. (Which for me is a big deal!) I live for planning, for notes and for a schedule. I am going to relish the idea of having a bath with a book at 3pm just becuase I can. And so, my plan...... to have absolutly no plan and I am just going to have to learn to deal with it. I will look forward with excitment, but not because it is 2 days or 20days away, but becuase I can just be excited.
I am an adult - and that sounds odd. But to be berated for feeling excitied, or to not allow yourself the joy of the the 10minutes you sat in glorious sunshine is to not live. So my second plan - is to live in the moment. (And yes I know, that is already two plans.....but they are loose and definitly in my benifit.)
In this world of minimising waste and detoxicifity our lives, my aim is to detox myself in many more ways than one.